If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize