I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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