Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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