I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize