Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
