My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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