She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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