Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
