I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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