you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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