we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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