so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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