It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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