I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
