And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
