Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize