i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
