Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just pynch a tree in the face
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
