I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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