I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
