I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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