I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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