I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
