If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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