Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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