i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
