I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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