We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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