Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
