took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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