You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
