also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
