You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
