508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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