I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
