Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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