My Higher Power is John Stamos
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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