Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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