I want you more than these girls want KFC
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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