When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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