She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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