Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
