Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
