But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
