My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
North Korea, Best Korea!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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