Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
