My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
