He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
barbara walters just said penis...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
