tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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