Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize