I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
