Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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