im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
