I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
