My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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