some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
