AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
