wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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